How to get the outcome to conversations that you really wanted

Recently we have been working with some leadership teams which are made up of very talented, committed people. People with drive and purpose.

And yet as I am talking to them I am hearing negatives like:

• The targets they have “agreed” are not realistic
• Irritation about not being consulted
• Dismissiveness of others views because they tend to be very inflexible
• Reluctance to express views because of fear of being judged or misjudged.

 

When we ask the obvious question – “Have you said this to the individual?” The answer is generally “No”, followed by a host of very good reasons for not doing. For example:

• They value the relationships and don’t want to damage them,
• They don’t know how to say it without sounding rude,
• They are worried the other person/people will be defensive and then they won’t know what to say.

In our experience, huge potential goes untapped in businesses because of the conversations that don’t happen:

• Underlying issues don’t get solved,
• Energy doesn’t get released
• The trust isn’t built and developed.

What if people had all the tools they needed to say whatever they needed to say? Wouldn’t that be powerful? What if we could say things like:

• We both agree that these performance targets are vital and at the same time I am concerned that we are not going to hit some of them
• You’ve gone quiet. I get the impression you are annoyed with me
• I know you believe there is no choice but to push through and make these savings but I believe we have three choices here and they all bring difficult consequences. Can I explain them?

What if we had tools for conversations to inspire, challenge, find out what’s really happening, say what we need, build trust and all in a way that made the relationship better not worse.

Then all we would need is the courage to say it.

At Levati, we specialise in bringing out the skills you have inside you that aren’t coming to the fore. Skills that can change not only how you work, but that make you – and your leadership teams – much more effective.

Check out the website for more information on our Learn, Embed, Transform philosophy, and about our Influencing For Results programmes –  we have some limited availability for you to come and develop your own ability to have deeper conversations at our open programme from 30 April to 2 May. Click here for details

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Frances and David

The Levati Team